I promised I'd post this.
P.S. I almost forgot...you need to know Hindi/Urdu (Dakhni, preferably) for this!
Anyway here's it...

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Howla. His
father is ambitious to educate Howla.
Howla goes to school in Tappa Chabutra. Its principal was educated in Urdu
high school and claims that he passed tenth class!
There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is as follows:

Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochanaa (questions) puchinga.
Sab achaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main
uske pairaan thodtoom.
Howla: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya
kochanaa puchta kathey?
Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo
khola to gaaliaan nikaltey. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum.
Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector
ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.

So our Howla is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not
going to school the next day.


Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan ka dabba hai? Gaand pe
maartaun saale tu ischool nai gaya to.
Howla: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.
Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Howla ischool nai jayinga kathey
kal.Agar iney ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Howla, agar
tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.


So Howla cries and finally agrees to go to school.
Next day in school, Teacher is very upset to see Howla back:

Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kaiko aaya re ?
Howla: Mera bava gaand phodtum bola ischool nai gaya to.
Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur
inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad
karinga naa meri noukri lag jayingi.


So Howla goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.
Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector: Adaab.
Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab. Kochchanaa puchey to
answeraan yun bolte.

Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever hai aapke bachchey?
Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal - Hamarey body mein sab se
nazook cheez kaun si hai?
Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!
Imtiyaz: Saab, Khaleja saab.
Inspector: Aisa! ..... woh kyun?
Imtiyaz: Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch bhi
nahin hota saab.
Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?
Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.
Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey! ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta
saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey, iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar
sakthey saab.
Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. Chutiye ke jaiseich
answeraan bolrai naa!!

In the meantime Howla is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees
him. He thinks Howla is hiding because he does not know the answer.

Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam
kya hai?
Teacher: kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu)Woh
Howla hai saab.
Inspector: Howla? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai
naamaan! Howla, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?
Howla: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.
Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??
Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku. Ye
potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Howla,
answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap
tere pau padthaum.

Howla: Saab sabse nazook cheez apne body mein Gaand hai saab.
Teacher: Allah!! Iney moo khola meri gaand lag gayi re!!!
Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney
aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey
amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan kaa answer hai re?
Howla: Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai.
Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata ...Yahan Hydrabad mein
apni gaand phat thi ... ..Yahaan old ci! ty mein gadbadaan shuru
hothey...wahaan new city mein sabki gaand phat thi.
Uttaa kaiku saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand
phatri dekho!!!!